Past Imperfect, Future Uncertain – happy ending

Blocker

 

Every day for the next week, there was some kind of gift outside her dorm room door when she woke up in the morning. Sometimes candy, once a book of poetry, another time there were more wildflowers. She had to set her alarm so she could wake up before Buffy – she somehow didn't want Buffy to know, didn't want anyone to know.

He showed up at Giles twice, asking for money for cigarettes and liquor in exchange for information. She never looked at him, but felt his eyes on her the whole time.

One night she couldn't sleep and she looked out her window to see the orange glow of a cigarette down by the tree underneath her window. Every morning she looked and more and more cigarette butts had accumulated.

This had to stop and had to stop now.



"Spike? Are you here? Spi–" that was the last thing she said before the taser in Drusilla's hand knocked her unconscious.



She was tired, oh so tired. And she couldn't turn over, couldn't even move. And her arms hurt.

She finally managed to open her eyes and see that she was in the lower level of Spike's crypt. And Drusilla was tied to something and she herself was – oh my goodness – shackled to the wall.

"So, sleeping beauty wakes."

Spike walked into her line of sight then.

"Spike, let me go!" She was panicking, and they both knew it.

"Beginning to think you'd sleep the night away."

Willow looked over at Drusilla who looked completely calm.

"Dru – Drusilla?"

Spike raised his eyebrows with a slight grin. He moved aside so that Willow could see Dru, tied to a pillar with her hands behind her back.

"Not nice to change the game in mid–play, Spike. You've taken my chair and the music hasn't stopped."

"Sorry, pet. My house, my rules."

"I think I shall be very cross with you when I'm free again."

Willow was beginning to get really frightened now. "What's going on?"

"Simple. I'm gonna prove something." He moved in close to her, "I love you."

Willow tried to look away but he wouldn't let her. "No, look at me!" He turned her face to look in her eyes. "I ... love you. You're all I bloody think about. Dream about. You're in my gut ... my throat ... I'm drowning in you, Willow, I'm drowning in you."

Dru began to laugh. Spike turned.

"I can do without the laugh track, Dru."

"But it's so funny. I knew ... before you did. I knew you loved the red witch. The pixies in my head whispered it to me."

Spike ignored Dru and turned back to Willow. "You can't tell me that there isn't anything there between you and me. I know you feel something."

"It's – you're not – him. You aren't William. And whatever you think you're feeling, it's not love. It's just a memory. William's memory of loving me."

"Just a memory, huh? You think so? You still don't believe. Still don't think I mean it. You want proof, huh? How's this?" He walked over to a table and picked up a stake and held it against Dru's chest. He looked over at Willow. "I'm gonna kill Drusila for you."

He thought he'd said something profound and truthful. But he saw Willow's eyes fill with tears.

"My William would never kill anyone, Spike. He just wasn't made that way. If you kill her, you're proving that you're not like William at all."

Spike looked shocked, then resigned. She was right. This was not the way. He had to prove he was the man she had loved – not the demon he had become. He had to show her that William was just below the surface. He pulled a key out of his jeans pocket and let Willow go.

"Run along home now, Red, before I untie Dru. Wouldn't want you getting a bite taken out of you."

He had listened to her. She had kept him from killing someone. And okay, so that someone was Drusilla and his sire – and for a vampire, she imagined it was a very big thing to offer to kill not only your sire, but the love of his unlife as well. And he'd stopped, simply because she asked him to. Maybe there was a bit of William in there after all.

There was only one thing she didn't stop to analyse until after she got home. Not once during that ordeal did she believe Spike would really hurt her.



Life got more complicated after that. He still kept vigil under her window, he still left gifts for her. And she couldn't stop thinking about him, thinking about what it would be like if she could have William back, even if he came in a Spike–shaped package.

Spike, she had to admit, was changing – or seemed to be. He helped them without asking for blood or money. He was civil to Buffy and Xander and outright nice to Giles and Anya. He helped patrol and do research. This last was a shock to the gang, but Willow, knowing that William spent the majority of his time with his nose in a book, wasn't surprised at how helpful he was being.

He even started wearing blue jeans. When he started letting his hair grow out (something mocked constantly by Xander) Willow came very close to believing he was serious about her.

The last straw was when she opened her door to find a single red rose with a note attached with a ribbon. The note was the poem he'd written for her all those years ago.

My love will withstand the test of time.
My heart will hold you – forever mine.
Your smile surrounds me; your eyes envelop me.
Your life and mine – timelessly entwined.

That afternoon, just before sundown, she made her way to his crypt. He must have sensed her coming because he opened the door before she even knocked.

"'Lo, Red."

"Spike, you have to stop doing this."

"Why? I love you, why won't you see that? William loved you and I love you just as he did!"

"That's just it, you aren't William. You can talk like him, you can grow your hair out like him but you'll never be him!" She sounded saddened by that.

He let go of his anger and tried again.

"Willow – Red – you're right, I'll never be him again. Not completely. But that doesn't mean I can't be someone better – someone you could love. William had passion, yes, but he had no outlet for that passion. He was afraid of his own shadow. You're a powerful witch with the sensibilities of a modern woman. Do you really think you could have been happy with William? You need someone to equal you, luv. Not a pathetic mouse who would be hiding behind yer skirts for his whole life! I am William, luv, just with a little added backbone, that's all."

Before she had a chance to answer, he had her in his arms and was kissing her senseless. He didn't give her a chance to pull away, not that it seemed like she was inclined to do so just now, but he wasn't taking any chances.

He kissed her until she lost her breath and only then pulled back to let her breathe.

"Tell me you can't love me – tell me you don't feel anything. Tell me I repulse you – tell me you think I'd ever hurt you."

She couldn't honestly tell him any of those things, so she just kept quiet.

He took this as a good sign and lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom downstairs. It took no time at all to get undressed and fall into bed.

She'd been wanting this, she could at least admit that to herself. She'd wanted William – Spike – as soon as she came back. Wanted to see him, touch him, verify that he was real. That the man she loved was in there somewhere.

She couldn't stop kissing him. This was the closest thing she could get to her William – no, that was a lie. Spike was right. She never would have been happy with William. She needed to be who she was and the cultural differences would have doomed their relationship.

But Spike? Spike was William with all the added extras you could ever want. And wow, what he was doing, the ways he was touching her – Spike could make her burn in ways William would never have imagined.

He took his time, worshipping her body as he'd longed to do for more than a century. Feeling her warm, soft skin beneath his fingers was the greatest aphrodisiac he'd even known. When, at last, he entered her, it felt like coming home. This was Willow – the true love of his life. And unlife.

And they were together – as they were meant to be. Eternally.



The End